


(T-T)p

by orphan_account



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Asexual!Barry, Chocolate, Civilization V, Crepes, Grinding, Look at these tags, M/M, Pillow Fights, Play Fighting, Shower Sex, Sleepovers, fucking incredible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-16
Updated: 2014-11-16
Packaged: 2018-02-25 14:32:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2625272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pronounced, “looking for a spaceman,” this fic is a lot less about kaomoji and space and a lot more about pillows, bad smut, sleep overs, crepes, play fighting, and weird spicy Japanese chocolate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(T-T)p

A problem with being part of the Game Grumps was that you played video games for a living. In theory, it should be a dream job- Dan thought it would be when he was offered the position of Not-So-Grump- but playing game after game to make a living could sap the fun right out of actually playing video games, the very opposite of what they were made for.

So when Ross offered Dan to play a video game with him not for _Steam Train,_ but _for fun,_ Dan was enthralled, his enthusiasm taking Ross aback.

‘Woah, Danny, calm down,’ Ross laughed, his hands up in the air, ‘it’s just a game!’

Dan’s hands firmly gripped Ross’ shoulders, shaking them as he leaned in. His voice was low and serious. _‘Do you know how long it’s been since I played a game that wasn’t part of work?’_

Ross laughed and playfully shoved Dan back and Dan grinned, returning it with one of his own. ‘You live a sad life, Danny.’ Ross was now clasping Dan’s hands. ‘Oh, dude, we’re gonna have the time of our life. I’ll, like, bring food and shit.’ Ross shook Dan’s hands with a smile. ‘Okay?’

Dan smirked, his eyebrows raised. ‘What, are we having a sleepover now?’

Ross shrugged and looked to the side, before slowly looking back at Dan, shit eating grin in tow. ‘… Mmmmayyybeee?’

‘Wait, where are we even having this? When are we even having this? This is the most impromptu sleepover I’ve ever had, Ross.’

Ross snorted and let go of Dan’s hands. ‘You’ve probably never been to one.’

‘Have too!’

Dan shoved Ross, Ross shoved Dan back, and before long they were clashing, hands striking out and feet tapping one another’s, curses slipping out of their mouths.

It was moments like these when Dan really, _really_ appreciated the friendship he had going on with Ross. They could be assassins trying to kill one another, say, and right before the seeming victor would pull the trigger against the other one lying on the floor, they would pull the other up, shake hands, joke about it, and go back to being friends in the wink of an eye.

Not that either of them were assassins, but you get the picture.

The certain victor in this scenario, however, was definitely Dan. He had Ross bent over, his left hand pinning Ross’ wrists behind his back and his right arm wrapped around the front of Ross’ torso. Smiling, he brought his face up close to Ross’. ‘I win,’ he whispered.

‘This looks very gay from my angle.’

Dan turned his head, peering over his shoulder to look at the source of the voice.

Barry had a banana in hand, and a corner of his lip was curled upwards in amusement as he eyed Dan and Ross. He took a bite of the fruit, munched away, and swallowed. ‘I’m not complaining though,’ he clarified.

Dan sent a glare his way, and Barry seemed to get it, because he disappeared as quickly as he appeared.

Dan huffed and turned his head back to Ross. ‘Love that guy. Anyway, we were talking about the sleepover?’

Ross turned away and cracked up. ‘Hahahaha, were we? Um,’ he looked back to Dan, ‘how about tomorrow night, yeah? Your house, or?’

Dan shrugged a little. ‘Yeah, sure, cool.’

‘Alright.’

‘Okay.’

They stayed in this hunched over position, looking at each other unblinkingly for a few more seconds before Ross closed his eyes and smooched Dan. Dan immediately let go of Ross and scrubbed at his lips, howling dramatically.

‘Uuugghhh, Rooooss!’

Ross just flipped him off as he made his escape to the kitchen. ‘Haha, sucker!’

Inwardly, however, Dan was smiling.

-

It was mid-afternoon when Dan opened the door to his and Barry’s apartment for Ross. He was greeted with a pillow to his face.

‘Fuckin’ rude, Ross.’

Ross pouted at Dan’s lack of reaction, and Dan laughed and stepped aside for Ross, who was dragging a large travel bag in the hand that wasn’t carrying the pillow. Was this sleepover really that big a deal?

‘You’re welcome,’ Ross called out over his shoulder as he stumbled around the living room. That bag he was carrying looked really heavy. Or maybe Ross was weak as hell.

Ross dropped the bag beside himself and rotated a few times in the same spot. ‘Danny, uh, where do I put my bag?’

Dan scooted over to Ross and, with a heave, lifted the bag with Ross to chest level, arms straining from the weight. ‘What the fuck did you put in here, Ross?’ Dan grunted. He was walking backwards, winding through his hallway as he guided Ross towards his bedroom.

Ross smiled awkwardly. ‘Uh, half my house, maybe?’

Dan tuttered.

They soon arrived at their destination. Dan looked over his shoulder and planted his hip into the unlocked door of his room. It swung open, and they waddled into the room.

Barry, who was lying on the comically large bed in the centre of the room, was watching The Legend of Korra on the wall-mounted TV opposite the bed. Dan locked eyes with him and tried to telepathically communicate to him that he could really do with a helping hand, but their mental connection must have been weak, because Barry just went back to watching the TV.

Dan frowned as he put the bag down in the corner of the room with Ross. ‘Barry, you banana loving fuck,’ he spoke irately, ‘when you see someone in need, you help them out.’

Barry hummed as he seemed to ponder this, his finger stroking his chin thoughtfully and all. ‘Don’t tell me what to do,’ he said finally, and went back to watching Korra.

Dan exhaled sharply, sending a flat stare to the man on the bed.

He loved Barry.

Not in that way.

But he really did love him.

Barry could just be a pain in the ass at times.

Not in that way.

Dan turned back to Ross, who was looking at him with big, curious eyes. He scratched at his poofy hair, sending Ross the same flat look he sent Barry’s way, before diving to the bag to unzip it. He heard Ross yelp above him just before he was shoved off the bag, and he landed hard on his butt with a smile and a laugh.

‘No!’ Ross squeaked. He was trying to pin Dan down to the ground, but Dan shimmied his way out from the tackle and landed back on the bag.

‘Aha!’ Dan grinned as he unzipped the bag, pulling the mouth of the zipper wide open. ‘What the fuck is in here, anyway?’

He began to rummage through the contents of the bag, placing items neatly to the side or on top of Ross.

‘A blanket, clothes, three pillows, really?’ He put these things on top of Ross, smothering the poor man. ‘Your laptop, 3DS, oh, what’s this?’ Dan pulled out a plastic bag full of junk food and smiled. ‘Oh, nice! Uh, what are they?’

The blanket and the pillow and the clothes muffled Ross’ voice. ‘Uh, I dunno, some Japanese candy shit Arin gave me. What a fucking weaboo.’

Dan turned back to the suitcase, nodding, and put the bag to the side. ‘Cool cool, umm, anime, oh hey, what’s this-‘

Dan’s eyes widened in horror, and he grabbed the new objects he had found at the very bottom of the bag, shaking them in the air furiously at Ross as he listed them out.

‘Studded condoms, ribbed condoms, studded and ribbed condoms, glow in the dark- Jesus, Ross, _we are not having a rave party!_ Lube, more lube, a fucking vibration ring.’ He tossed it at Ross’ stupid face (at least, what he thought was Ross’ face) and Ross whined. The fact that he could hear Barry’s loud laughter only made Dan feel more irritated.

‘Did you honestly think we were gonna have sex, Ross?’

Ross burst out of the layers of material with a gasp. ‘No, but, y’know, just in case-‘

‘Dude, no.’

The sound of Barry’s laughter had increased tenfold. Dan sighed and grabbed a pillow off Ross’ covered body. He advanced towards Barry, brandishing the pillow threateningly, and Barry’s laughter immediately ceased. He rolled off the bed before scampering out of the room.

Dan slowly lowered the hand that was holding the pillow and stared at the now empty space in the bed with a blank expression.

Barry would be back in time. And he would probably tease Dan about the sleepover, asking if he really did have sex with Ross, and Dan would say no, and as soon as Dan would say that, Barry would puff out air in doubt, and he would tease Dan about allegedly doing the do with Ross until Dan threatened him with a pillow again, and he would whack Barry’s face with said pillow until Barry would start fake crying, then laughing, then the both of them would be laughing, and then they would marathon Marvel movies to make it up to each other.

Dan felt a tap tap tapping on his shoulders, and when he turned around he found Ross embracing him in a warm hug, his eyes closed and his head against his chest. Dan looked down at Ross and smiled, wrapping his arms around Ross with the pillow still in hand.

‘Danny?’

‘Yeah?’

‘Where did Barry go?’

Dan shrugged. ‘Out.’

‘Danny?’

Dan rested his head on top of Ross’ and closed his own eyes, gently rocking from side to side. ‘Yeah?’

‘Are we still playing Civ V?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Dan?’

‘Mm?’

When Ross didn’t reply, Dan opened his eyes and raised his head back up to look down at the shorter man. Ross still had his eyes closed, but he was smiling now.

What a cutie.

Dan was suddenly hit across the face again, and when he came to his senses, he realised that the pillow that was once in his hand was now in Ross’.

Ross was snickering now, his body trembling from the force of his laughter. Narrowing his eyes at the trembling boy, Dan snatched the pillow back and retaliated, and soon enough, they were bouncing up and down on the bed and having a pillow fight, masterfully countering the other’s move with one of their own.

Repacking the luggage could wait.

-

Dan draped the blanket over the chair and took a step back to admire his handiwork.

Initially he had wanted to play Scribblenauts on the couch in the lounge, but Ross had proposed another idea after the pillow fight had ended.

_‘How about we build a blanket nest?’_

_Dan’s chest was heaving and his pulse racing from the aftermath of the intense pillow fight. He bounced down on the bed next to Ross, who too was breathing heavily. ‘What’s that?’ Dan asked breathlessly._

_Ross’ head turned from Dan to the cream coloured ceiling. ‘It’s like a pillow fort, but neater and smaller.’_

_Dan blinked. It sounded childish._

_‘I’m in.’_

Dan heard dull, thudding footsteps coming from behind him. He turned around.

Ross was walking towards him, carrying the massive fucking bag of junk food in one hand and the laptop in his other. He beamed at Dan, and Dan returned the grin as he gestured to the blanket nest, which was constructed under Ross’ careful instructions.

A blanket nest could be described as the more “grown up” version of a pillow fort, yes; Its foundation was couch cushions, with softer pillows sitting on top, the third layer, or layers, in this case, was a bunch of blankets piled on top of one another (hence the name “blanket nest,”)and the proverbial icing on top was a blanket hanging from a pair of clips taped to the wall and draped over a chair, the chair’s seat facing the assortment of blankets and pillows and cushions.

Ross was smiling. ‘Looks great!’ He chirped. He then pointed to the chair. ‘But that’s back to front. The back of the chair’s supposed t’be facing the nest, dummy.’

Dan grabbed the bag of food and carefully slid it onto the seat. ‘The food can go here so we have more room for ourselves. See? I’m smart, I think ahead.’

Ross “aahhhed” and high fived Dan. ‘Well, let’s get this party started!

_‘It’s a party of thr- oh.’_

Ross laughed before shoving Dan for what felt like the zillionth time that week, and Dan grinned back. Ross’ laugh was so, so precious. It was crackly and adorable and it made Dan feel like he was melting inside and he couldn’t help but laugh along. It was infectious.

Dan actually told that to Ross once, that his laugh was infectious. Ross just grinned in that way that betrayed that he was going to crack the joke of the century and replied in that fascinating international accent of his, ‘Well that sucks for you, ‘cuz if you go to a doctor, they’ll tell you to laugh it off, get it? ‘Cuz laughter is the best medicine?’ Queue Ross laughing absurdly at his own terrible joke and Dan’s subsequential laughter at Ross. 

They were underneath a downy brown blanket from the nest now. The room was dimly lit and an autumn’s night chill hung in the air, forcing the two men to huddle close to each other for warmth. It took Dan back to the days where he had slumber parties with his friends in middle school-

Who was he kidding? He had never had a slumber party when he was younger, and he would never admit it out loud.

Dan felt Ross’ arm snake around his back and he leaned back into it, his own arm reaching around Ross’ shoulder. ‘Ugh, fuck yeah dude, I love cuddling.’

He turned to Ross with a smile, but it dropped when he saw the mildly puzzled look Ross was giving him. ‘Um, I was reaching for the snacks.’

Dan retracted his arm with a nervous laugh. ‘Right! Uh, maybe it’d be easier if I got them?’

Ross nodded and shrugged, and retracted his arm. ‘Yeah, true.’

The first snack that Dan grabbed out of the bag… Well, it was kit-kat, judging by the bold red logo on the packet. The rest of the text was in some other language Dan didn’t know how to read. Maybe it was in Japanese, seeing as Arin The Weaboo bought it for them. Maybe he was being an unintentional racist again.

Dan’s eyes narrowed at the packet of chocolate in hand, and he rotated it around and flipped it, because turning it upside down would totally help him read the foreign text on the wrapper. ‘Hey, Ross,’ Dan spoke, turning to the aforementioned man who now had the laptop in front of him, ‘what flavour is this?’

Ross snatched the small packet of kit-kat away from Dan, and Dan snatched the laptop from Ross in return.

Fucking rude asshole.

‘Oh, oh, I’m good with squiggly line language! Let’s seee…’ He brought the packet up to his clear blue eyes and squinted hard. ‘This says… Kit-Kat! Dan, guess what? It’s _food,_ you _eat it._ ’

Eyebrows furrowed in annoyance, he clicked around on the screen, ignoring Ross’ sassy comments. He was gonna play Civilization with Ross, no matter how many Kit-Kat bars came in his way. ‘Let’s see… Easiest mode, ‘cuz you and I both suck at this game, and ooh, how about Napoleon Born-to-party? Get some culture into us, Ross.’ He felt something tug at his tee sleeve, and Dan rolled his eyes hard and shifted his body back to face Ross with a sigh. ‘What is it now- oh, it’s green!’

The small chocolate in Ross’ hand was indeed a pale green. Was it green tea flavour? Because, like, Japan’s full of tea.

Ross forced a smile. ‘Thanks for establishing that you’re not colourblind-’

‘Fuck you-’

‘Anyway, dude, you’re taking this. I don’t trust anything that could turn my poop a different colour.’

Dan groaned. ‘Ugh, fiiine, you wimp.’

In a fluid motion, Dan snatched the chocolate from Ross’ hand and crammed it whole into his mouth, and within the first few bites, he knew he was in trouble.

Tears were prickling at the corners of Dan’s eyes and his face was burning, and so was his mouth, and everything- he felt as if he had just simultaneously combusted into flames right on the spot- and his dark eyes flicked around, unable to settle on anything. He flapped his hands at his face to try and cool the fire that had started in his body, but of course it didn’t work.

It took him another second to realise that Ross was cracking up right beside him. His wandering eyes finally snapped to the laughing man and he glared, which only caused the tears that were welling at his eyes to fall. ‘R-Ross, Ross, help! Help, I’m on fire, dude, fucking-‘

Ross was bent double now, his arms clutching his sides from the force of his laughter. ‘Hahahahahah, you fell for it-‘

Dan fell for it?

His head shook from side to side in disbelief.

He fell for-

No.

Fuck Ross, _fuck him, **holy shit-**_

Dan’s hands, which were still flapping away, gripped the sides of Ross’ face, and he pulled him in for the angriest kiss he had ever given in his life.

He bored holes into Ross’ eyes as they kissed away, swapping burning kiss after burning kiss with the Australian. He heard Ross’ muffled whines in protest against his mouth and felt him trying to tug away, but his hands just gripped Ross’ slowly reddening face harder as he broke the kiss momentarily.

They were so close their noses were touching, and Dan could very well see the confusion and panic reflected in Ross’ eyes. He couldn’t tell if it was from the kissing, or the taste of the extremely spicy chocolate, or both.

 

‘I’m sharing the love,’ Dan informed him, before resuming to his furious make-out session.

A minute later, he forced their mouths apart, unable to bare the flames dancing around in their mouths any longer, and broke out a drink from the plastic bag. Together, they chugged down the milky-looking drink, swapping it between them at break neck pace.

Dan wiped a drop of the liquid that had escaped his mouth and returned to the neglected laptop. He proceeded to finally, finally begin the four hour long game. ‘What the fuck was that?’ Dan breathed. He threw a wild gesture to where he estimated the wrapper of the kit-kat was.

He heard Ross giggle beside him, and he stiffened when Ross threw an arm around his shoulder and laid his head against his shoulder. Any trust Dan had for Ross had dissipated when he first tasted that chocolate. ‘That was wasabi flavour.’

Dan turned to glare at Ross. ‘Did you give me that because I refuse to go on Hot Pepper- mmrm!’

Dan looked cross-eyed down at the new chocolate jammed in his mouth. It was another green kit-kat. Oh no.

He tried to spit it out, but Ross just kept forcing it back in, and he eventually gave up and chewed on it. This time, however, it was pleasantly bitter.

‘Ross, what the fuck?’ Dan managed in-between chewing. Ross just laughed and hugged him. He was chewing on something too, presumably another chocolate. ‘I got Arin to buy some kit-kat for us to try out, because, y’know, you like chocolate-‘

‘I don’t like spicy chocolate!’

‘And, y’know, maybe you don’t like wasabi, and that’s cool, I don’t like it either, I thought it would be fun-‘

Dan huffed and clicked on the “Found City” button on the screen. ‘You call being set on fire “fun?”‘

Ross pouted, shrugged, and turned away from Dan. ‘You’re just sensitive to spicy food. I am too, you know. Anyway, there’s only one more spicy Kit-Kat, and there’s sooo many more yummy ones. Like, the one you just had now is green tea. And there’s taro and red bean and vanilla ice.’

Dan side-eyed Ross. Who the fuck thought it would be a good idea to put vegetables into a chocolate? ‘Okay, we’ll try all of them, but on one condition.’ He motioned to the screen in front of him and clicked, “Bronze working.” ‘We’re going to play the fuck out of this game, okay?’

He felt Ross hug him again, and the rustling sound of foil being unwrapped followed. ‘Sure, Danny.’

Dan sighed and returned the hug.

This was going to be a long night.

-

The night was so long, in fact, that by the time they had stumbled out of the bathroom from brushing their teeth (Dan was insistent that there was no way they were going to go to bed with unbrushed teeth) and had literally hit the sack, that is, the blanket nest, it was early morning.

There was still no sign of Barry, oddly enough. Where had he gotten to?

Dan had been awake for a while now. He assumed by his blue-tinged surroundings that it was a cloudy evening.

He was facing Ross, one arm wedged underneath Ross’ side, his free hand rubbing small, lazy circles into the back of Ross’ neck. To complete this romantic position, their legs were crossed over one another’s, and Dan could feel Ross’ boner against his legs, to his simultaneous bemusement and delight. They had melded into this form unconsciously during their sleep and Dan had woken up trapped and unable to get up, so he made the best of the situation given to him.

He definitely wasn’t complaining, though. Despite that he pretends that he hates being touched by Ross on Steam Train, he actually really loved hugging Ross because he was the only one other than Barry that was willing to put up with his bony form, so snuggling with Ross was a dream come true.

Ross was rubbing at his eyes with his fingers now, his eyebrows knitted together. He yawned, and his whole body vibrated against Dan’s and stretched awake. His eyes fluttered open.

Dan blinked and smiled, and ruffled Ross’ hair with his free hand, speaking in a voice crackly from sleep, ‘Morning, buddy. Did you, uh, were you dreaming of nice things?’ He nodded down slightly, hoping Ross would get what he mean.

Ross stuttered a little before frowning and slightly flushing. His narrowed eyes darted away from Dan. ‘That’s none of your business.’

A smile played at Dan’s lips as he laughed and tapped at Ross’ forehead, and he asked in a low murmur, ‘Were you dreaming of me?’

Ross’ eyes flicked back to Dan. He was smiling too. ‘You fucking wish.’

Dan poked his tongue out at Ross and he tugged out the arm trapped underneath Ross before he swung himself on top of the younger man, straddling his lap. Grinning, he poked at Ross’ sides, earning giggles and some wonderful friction in a certain area from the man squirming underneath him.

Ross seemed to know what game Dan was playing at, because the flush on his face was very visible now. He angled his head away from Dan as Dan brought his face close to his.

Dan grinned. ‘Oh?’

The corner of Ross’ lips turned upwards into a smirk, and his eyes briefly flicked back to Dan before he firmly grabbed Dan’s hips. He ground his crotch into Dan’s and Dan gasped, a spark of pleasure shooting from his crotch to the rest of his body.

Dan rubbed his slowly forming hard-on against Ross’, Ross rutted back up, and they were soon gently grinding their dicks against each other arrythmically, faces flushed and sighs falling out of their lips.

Dan chanced a peek down at their crotches. Their dicks were starting to strain against the material of their underwear, and tiny wet patches had formed from the precum leaking out of their dicks. He abruptly stopped his rutting and Ross whined, his fingertips digging into Dan’s hips. ‘You can’t just tease me like that…’

Dan smiled. ‘Yes I can.’ He scooted back a little and tilted his head down to leave a kiss on Ross’ pale tummy, and his smile grew when he felt Ross wriggle. ‘It’s fun teasing you, you have no idea. But seriously though, if we come on the blankets, it’ll be bad news.’

Careful not to bump his head against the overhanging blanket, Dan awkwardly slithered off Ross and back onto the soft blankets, and reached for the plastic bag of junk food still sitting on the chair. The first chocolate he grabbed out was taro flavoured.

Surprisingly enough (to him at least,) Dan had come to like the flavour. It was probably the sweetest out of all the Kit-Kats, despite its flavour coming from a vegetable.

He unwrapped the chocolate, broke it in half, and offered half to Ross. Ross took it and nibbled at it, and asked, ‘Why would it be bad news?’

Dan’s words were slightly muffled by the purple chocolate in his mouth. ‘Well, for starters, it’ll stain the sheets, so I’ll have to clean then, and I probably won’t be able to wash them immediately, so they would smell after a while, too…’

Not to mention that Barry would notice the slightly bigger washload than usual and would instantly know what went down. And Dan really didn’t want to admit that he had sex with Ross, out of all people.

Ross, still nibbling away at the now slightly shorter Kit-Kat stick, tilted his head to the side, eyes looking away from Dan. ‘How abouuuut… The shower? ‘Cuz, like, when we were all grinding up against each other and shit before, your hair really smelt, and it really sucked-‘

Dan glared at Ross, and Ross yelped.

‘-And! Uh, I haven’t washed since yesterday, so now’s better than ever, right?! And shower sex is hoooot, and we could wash each other’s hairrrr…’ Ross giggled nervously and popped the last of the Kit-Kat into his mouth. ‘And uh, any mess we’ll make will be washed away instantly, so Barry won’t know.’

Could this guy read Dan’s mind?

Dan leaned over and gave Ross a chocolate flavoured kiss. ‘Deal. Just don’t wash my hair. Trust me; it’s for your own good.’

-

When Dan looks back on it, playing chasey in a barely lit shower was probably, no, definitely, a terrible and dangerous idea, but hey. It was fun, and it led up to one of his most interesting sexual experiences he’s ever had.

A strong stream of warm water hit Dan square in the face as he cowered and spluttered in a corner of the gloom shrouded shower, arms up in front of his face to protect himself from the surprise attack.

‘R-Ross!’

Water engulfing his vision, Dan clawed at the shadowy figure in front of him, who backed off laughing. Dan immediately reached for the liquid soap sitting on the metal shower rack above his formerly hunched form and, with a flick of his thumb, opened its lid, squirted it onto the sponge in his hand, and he lunged at Ross, grabbing his shoulders and scrubbing at his cheek furiously with the foamy sponge.

He grinned when he heard Ross’ protests. ‘Yes, Ross, complain more! I feed off your misery!’

Unfortunately, Dan’s winning position was soon thwarted, and yet again he got a face full of water.

He coughed and spluttered a little more before reaching out desperately to grab at his enemy’s weapon, but Ross was too quick, and he threw his arm back away from Dan’s range and backed off with a smile. ‘You can’t catch me, Danny!’ He taunted, and this time he sprung to Dan’s side and aimed the shower nozzle at Dan’s ribs, the water hitting him square without fail.

Dan blew water out of his nose hard and slicked his hair back with his free hand, a cross expression slowly making its way to his features. He didn’t have the agility that Ross had, nor the bubbling over energy he possessed, and it was dark as fuck… He was doomed to fail at this game.

His eyes flicked over to Ross’ drenched form, which had somehow jumped over to Dan’s right without him noticing.

All he could do for now was hope that Ross would somehow slip up, literally, which was sort of a bad thing to wish for considering their environment, but maybe, maybe it’d turn out better than he was expecting.

And it did.

Ross, for possibly the fifth time since they had gotten into the shower, pounced onto Dan’ back, but this Dan heard him yelp, and he whipped around and caught Ross in the nick of time.

Even in the dark, Dan could see Ross’ sparkling blue eyes blown wide in panic as his hands gripped onto Dan’s forearms for dear life, his chest expanding and contracting as he took in and exhaled long, drawn out breaths.

Dan stuttered, eyes darting from side to side. ‘Uh-uh-uh, Ross, are you-‘

The shorter man just laughed, _laughed_ , even after he had almost slipped over in the fucking shower, and he wrapped his arms around Dan’s torso, resting his head against Dan’s chest. His eyes were fluttering shut as he breathed, ‘Yeah, that was… Whew! That was fun, wasn’t it?’

Ross was okay.

That’s great!

That also meant that he was fully capable of attacking Dan with that godforsaken shower nozzle again.

Dan was quick to pry it out of Ross’ now soft grasp and he was even quicker to replace it back on the hook. Much to his surprise, Ross didn’t even complain- he just rested there in Dan’s arms, his breathing gradually evening out.

Artificial rain was soon back to splattering against the walls and the floor of the shower, and Dan wasted no time in taking advantage of the mood and position they were in.

Dan turned Ross around so that he was now facing the darkened glass wall of the shower, his arms snaking across Ross’ torso in an enveloping hug from behind as he nuzzled into the crook of Ross’ neck. ‘You know, you mentioned that we were gonna clean each other earlier,’ he softly spoke. ‘And you kinda, sorta mentioned that we would, uh, how do I put this delicately? Fuck.’ He now trailed kisses across Ross’ shoulder blade, up the back of his neck, and left one on Ross’ jaw, and his arms tightened around Ross’ torso as he squished his cheek against Ross’ with a smile.

He didn’t need to look at Ross’ face to know that he was blushing- he could feel his fiery skin against his.

‘… You’ve been unbearably horny the entire time, I know,’ Ross finally spoke, his soft tone matching Dan’s. ‘I’ve had to avoid eye contact with your junk since we’ve been in here. Fuck, dude, I can feel your boner against me right now.’

Dan laughed and nuzzled Ross’ cheek more. ‘And you’re saying you haven’t?’ His hand shot out to grab the base of Ross’ semi-hard dick, and Ross inhaled sharply.

‘C-can you blame me for getting a hard on when I’m, like, a meter away from a naked, good-looking person?’ He shuddered as more as Dan pumped him a little before he took his hand away, and Ross moaned in disappointment. ‘Stop teasing me, Danny…’

Dan firmly gripped Ross’ hip with the hand that had just jerked him off and dragged the hand that held that soapy sponge up and across Ross’ belly and chest, leaving a foamy trail in its wake. He smiled as Ross quivered some more. ‘That’s impossible, you’re so cute…’

One of Ross’ kinks was being teased. Another was being praised. Dan knew this, and when combined, these two kinks made for some very fun times.

What, you think he’s never fucked Ross?

(The first and only time they had, they fell off the bed laughing.)

Ross let out a high pitched whine and Dan “awwed” and pulled him closer to his body.

‘Danny, pleeease…’

Dan knew what Ross wanted, but he just tilted his head to the side as he looked down at Ross, eyebrow raised. ‘“Please” what?’

Ross’ words were quiet and strained and shy, and he was looking down at his feet. He hated admitting what he wanted, and it amused Dan to no end.

‘Please jerk me off.’

Dan smiled. He turned Ross around again so that they were face to face with each other. ‘Look at who’s the horny one now, huh?’ Dan asked rhetorically. An amused smile played on his lips. ‘So impatient, Ross. We should take it slowly, yeah?’

Ross just whined some more, and Dan brought the soapy sponge to Ross’ back, dragging it down in a slow zig-zagging motion until he reached Ross’ butt. He then took his sweet, sweet time at scrubbing light circles on his soft skin there, not so subtly admiring Ross’ booty as he did so. ‘Damn, how the fuck did I not notice how cute your ass is until now? Have you seen this, Ross?’ He then proceeded to toss the sponge away to God knows where as he slapped and squeezed at the wet, soft skin there.

Dan felt Ross shifting underneath him, and his eyes flicked back to Ross, whose hand was sneaking towards his crotch. Smirking, Dan gripped Ross’ wrist and held it back, earning a frustrated moan from the shorter man.

‘Daaannyyyy…’

Dan laughed and kissed Ross before pulling away from him a little to admire the sight in front of him.

Ross’ face was a bright pink now, his flush spread across his cheeks and up to the tips of his ears, his eyes averted from Dan’s gaze in embarrassment. Foamy white bubbles across his torso very slowly slid down his vibrating body, and when his eyes wandered to Ross’ cock, Dan smiled.

He spun Ross around yet again (how he hadn’t wobbled over from dizziness by now was impressive) and hugged him from behind, his hand drifting down to Ross’ cock and squeezing it firmly, Ross vibrating some more. Dan rested his head against Ross’, running his thumb over the tip of Ross’ cock and smearing the precum before taking his cock in hand.

The warm spray of shower water hit them as they stood there in the darkness, their wet bodies pressed together and slightly hunched over as Dan fisted Ross’ cock at a steady pace. Hardly a word is spoken between them- Ross pants and writhes against Dan as he sometimes quickens the pace of his hand before dropping it back down to a steady rhythm, and Dan occasionally whispers teasing little things like, ‘Oh, Ross, you’re beautiful,’ and, ‘Hmm, maybe I should slow down a little?’ And Ross replies with a whine and a protest and a jerk of his body.

It’s not long until Dan can sense that Ross is about to lose it- his breaths are shakier and he’s started sighing Dan’s name over and over, and Dan smiles wickedly before his hand comes to a sudden stop before dropping to the side of Ross’ hip.

Ross moaned, his eyes squeezing shut as his now leaking cock twitched. His voice was high pitched and crackly. ‘Oh, Danny, no, no, please continue, Danny, please, I’m so close, _Danny-_ ‘

Dan shooshed him and pressed his smiling lips to Ross’ neck, murmuring against his hot skin, ‘Mm, maybe.’

Incoherent noises left Ross’ lips, and Dan smiled wider, nipping the flesh at the back of Ross’ neck before bringing his face back up to Ross’ pouting features.

‘Aww, what’s with that look?’

Ross just whined some more, his hips bucking up again, and Dan laughed and took his dick back in his hand again, and after two firm strokes, Ross was coming, hot white liquid spurting out across Dan’s hand.

Dan smiled down at the trembling figure in his arms, but it dropped when he felt himself being turned around to face the shower knobs.

Shaky arms wrapped around his body tightly from behind, and he felt icy fingers wrapping around his uncomfortably hard boner. A nervous yelp escaped Dan’s lips.

‘Don’t worry,’ Ross breathed behind him. ‘I’m just gonna return the favour, yeah?’

Another yelp left Dan’s lips, but this one was in excitement.

-

Dan slowly tilted a bowl full of crepe mix over the frying pan in front of him, and the runny batter landed on the hot surface with a satisfying hiss. He smiled, tilting the pan left and right.

Nothing beat having crepes for breakfast, in Dan’s opinion. Especially when you were breaking your fast at seven o’clock at night.

A muffled giggle burst out of the man next to Dan, and he turned his head to face Ross, a questioning look written on his face.

The shorter man was sitting down on a wooden stool, his form lounging over the kitchen bench, his head lying on top of his crossed over arms. Out of laziness, the two of them couldn’t be bothered to reopen Ross’ luggage to get out his clothes, so he was presently wearing a tee and a pair of sweatpants that belonged to Dan, as well as his own black earbuds. They fitted him surprisingly well, perhaps even better than they did on Dan.

Dan grinned at the now slightly embarrassed man. ‘What chu thinking ‘bout Ross, hmm?’

Another giggle escaped Ross. Dan’s lips curled upwards and his eyebrows slightly furrowed together as his head turned back to the crepe sizzling away on the pan. With a flourish of his hand, he flipped the crepe with practised ease, and it landed right in the center. ‘What is it, you silly bastard? You laughing at me, or?’

‘Like, you know how we goofed around in the shower?’

Dan side eyed Ross. ‘Yeah?’

_‘Wellll…’_

Oh, this was going to be another of Ross’ golden, possibly incomprehensible, moments, Dan could tell.

‘Like, you know swordplay, right?’

Dan pointedly frowned at Ross, hoping to discourage any further talk. ‘Ross, I am not going to join the D club.’

‘Heheheheh, no no, like, listen to this: we could’ve put the glow in the dark condoms on, and it wouldn’t be swordplay anymore, it would be… Saberplay, get it? Y’know, light sabers glow, and they’re uh, swords… Aha…‘

Sighing, Dan tilted the pan and gently slid the crepe onto a small tower of premade crepes on the other side of the kitchen stove. He regreased the pan before grabbing the bowl containing the last of the batter and slowly poured a new crepe. He turned to Ross and blinked. ‘Yes, Ross, I know light sabers are glowing swords, and no, Ross, that’s a terrible idea. We wouldn’t be able to feel anything because of the condoms.’

Ross chuckled into his arm, looking away from Dan’s gaze. ‘Heh heh heh, well, you know what they say, always use protection! Even though we didn’t in the shower… And even though I bought enough condoms to feed an army-‘

‘Feed an army?’ Dan gagged in disgust and Ross choked. ‘No, no! I meant, enough condoms to supply an… Army? I don’t know, man, I just…’ Ross buried his head into his left elbow. ‘Wanna have a sick rave party with you.’

Dan laughed. ‘Maybe some other time.’

He flipped the crepe in the pan, and he leaned over to Ross, tapping him on the shoulder. Ross raised his head to face him, head tilted. ‘Hm?’

Dan skimmed his fingertips across Ross’ forehead, brushing his bangs out of his eyes, and he ruffled his still slightly damp hair. ‘What song are you listening to?’ He asked softly.

He watched Ross rise up from his slouched position. ‘Oh, oh! Uh, here.’ Ross took out his right ear bud and handed it to Dan, and as soon as the music started flowing into Dan’s left ear, he smiled. ‘Oh, dude, Daft Punk.’ He handed the earbud back and tipped the final crepe onto the stack. Ross grinned. ‘Yeah dude! Hey, hey. What’s your fave song from the newest album?’

Dan scratched at his head and shook it before combing back his hair with his fingers. ‘Um, The Game of Love?’

Ross nodded and got up from the stool, grabbing Dan’s hands and covering them with his own. He squeezed them tightly. ‘Oh, really?!’ He was inching towards Dan now. ‘Y-yeah,’ Dan stuttered, blinking.

Ross tilted his head at an angle, and looked at Dan closely. Dan felt… Vunerable.

‘You get me.’

Dan was blushing. ‘Ah, do I?’

‘Mmhmm. Like, we’re different, but we’re the same. Like, our backgrounds are different, but our interests are similar.’

Dan swallowed. Where was Ross going with this? ‘Yeah?’

‘Like, you’re the only one who really connects with me when it comes to this stuff. I’ve never met someone who likes Daft Punk as much as me…’ Ross halted zooming in on Dan to look to the side with a pout. ‘That sounds lame, right? But,’ his face snapped back to Dan and he tugged Dan in towards himself, ‘you get me, Danny. Like, with video games and music and… A lot of things. You know? You’re so important to me, you have no idea.’

Dan blinked. Their faces were very close to one another’s now. ‘I… Do have an idea, Ross. I…’

“I really fucking care about you,” was what he wanted to say, but he would never, ever, ever admit it.

‘I…’ Dan’s jaw hung loose, and Ross blinked, and his eyes slipped shut and his lips were moving towards Dan’s, and Dan’s eyes closed and he leaned in to kiss his friend and-

He felt fingers slap across his mouth and push him back, and Dan gasped in surprise, his eyes snapping open. He whipped around in time to grab Ross around the arms and waist and pull him back into the same bent over position they were in three days ago at the office.

Ross was wriggling like a worm against his vice-like grasp, and Dan was desperately holding onto him, restraining him from the plate of crepes. ‘Noooo, Danny!’ Ross protested. He grunted as he attempted to jerk out of Dan’s arms.

‘You idiot!’ Dan hissed, putting his face next to Ross’. He squeezed extra tight and pulled the kicking blue eyed man back. ‘What the fuck were you planning to do with the crepes, eat them plain? That’s gross! I haven’t even added the berries.’

‘The burries? I like burries.’

The pair of squabbling men turned their heads to the voice that had come from behind them.

Barry had a milkshake in hand. He was smiling.

Dan exhaled and let go of Ross, who just flopped lifelessly to the floor. He turned to walk towards Barry. ‘Dude, where the fuck have you been?’

Barry punched him in the arm playfully. ‘Oh, you know, out. Don’t mind me!’ He paused to slurp long and hard at the milkshake, making googly eyes at Dan. ‘You two looked like you had fun.’

Dan sighed and turned back around to Ross, who was now hunched over the crepes. He took a bite from one, and his whole body sagged in disappointment. ‘Aww, Ross, c’mere buddy,’ he cooed. He turned back to Barry. ‘Yeah, well, as you can see, we’re fighting over a stack of crepes because we’re mature adults like that.’ He felt Ross headbutt his chest and he wrapped his arm around his friend’s shoulders. ‘See, Ross? They’re plain.’

Ross just whined childishly and hugged Dan back.

Barry laughed as he made a beeline for the refrigerator. He pulled out a few cartons of berries. ‘Anything else you guys got up to?’

The handjob he gave Ross. The blowjob Ross gave him while he washed Ross’ hair. The epic shower fight to end all shower fights. ‘We played Civ V as the French and won.’

Ross’ head briefly lifted up from Dan’s shoulder. ‘The Incans were scared of us, we fucking annihilated the British and the Zulus were our only friends.’

‘You tell him, Ross. We played Civ V in a blanket nest, which was fun.’ Dan looked down at the man leaning against him and smiled. ‘We may or may not have cuddled and fallen asleep.’

Barry had divided the crepes across three plates and was now decorating them with yogurt and berries and honey. ‘Aww, that’s cute, and yeah, I saw that in the lounge. You two are cleaning it up. Who knows what else you did in there.’ He visibly shuddered, and Dan frowned. ‘The most fucked up thing that went down in there was me being tricked to eat wasabi Kit-Kat,’ he lied. He nudged Ross in the ribs, and Ross laughed. ‘And, uh, we had a pillow fight.’

Barry set the plates on the table and nodded. ‘Cool.’ He straightened up and grabbed his milkshake from the table, taking an audible sip from it. ‘So, you two didn’t fuck?’

‘No,’ Dan lied again.

Barry snickered. ‘You’re not expecting me to believe you, right?’

‘I am.’

‘You two had an entire night plus one and a half days to yourself.’

‘And so did you.’

‘Yeah, but I’m asexual, and you’re not.’

Dan narrowed his eyes. His head snapped to Ross, who was looking up to him with a small smile. ‘Ross, pillow.’

Ross beamed and ran to the couch, and Barry started, eyes wide.

‘Oh, _shit- _‘__

**Author's Note:**

> Like, on one hand, I feel proud of this fic, but on the other, I don’t, because I feel like it’s the most randomly strung together thing I’ve ever written.  
> Originally, it was just a fic about Ross and Dan falling asleep on the grump couch whilst playing Scribblenauts, but…
> 
> Anyway, I dedicate this fic to Anamanaguchi. Their love for video games, Japanese weaboo shit, chiptune, pizza, furbies and funhouses is truly inspiring. (T-T)b
> 
> And yes, wasabi, taro and red bean flavoured Kit-Kat is a thing in Japan, as well as more “normal” flavours. Everything’s a thing in Japan, for better or for worse.


End file.
